


Rape Has Not Changed in 70 Years

by BlackWidette



Category: The Bletchley Circle
Genre: Dissociation, Female Friendship, Getting Help, Holding space, Kidnapping, Love, Physical Abuse, Rape, Rape Aftermath, Sexual Trauma, Sisterhood, Trauma, Violence, What I Wish All Of Us Had In Moments Like These, Women Supporting Women, compassion - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-14
Updated: 2021-02-14
Packaged: 2021-03-14 19:55:05
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 3
Words: 14,388
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29424156
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BlackWidette/pseuds/BlackWidette
Summary: For all the women out there with sexual trauma needing some space to be held by the sisterhood.---When Millie is kidnapped by the Maltese and Lazzru drops her home, he does more than threaten her and the fallout of his actions are heartbreaking not just for Millie, but for Jean, Lucy and Alice as well.
Kudos: 4





	1. Attack

**Author's Note:**

> Something I've been needing to exorcise and give love to for a while.

\---

Millie sat in the dark gripping desperately to the paddy wagon walls as it bumped along the cobbled London streets. 

She couldn't really believe that she was free, she had thought for sure that she was going to be beaten or tortured... or killed...  
But the fact that she was physically unharmed after the three days that she had experienced seemed... surreal...

When Lazzru had first opened the wagon door to the back of the van and she'd seen the windowless box that she was expected to climb into, she'd been hesitant and nervous.  
She wondered what would have happened if she'd refused and she figured she probably would have been manhandled into it and she was glad to have bypassed that experience. 

The van bumped particularly heavily and Millie was almost tossed from the narrow bench, her thoughts equally thrown to wondering if it was all a ploy; that Lazzru wasn't actually taking her home...

She worried for Elishka and the girl's who had been brought to England under false pretences, knowing they were told freedom and a new life only to experience servitude and sexual slavery. Her mind began to throw up images of the van she was in suddenly driving into isolated woodlands or to an old warehouse along the Thames somewhere... Fear for her safety and what would happen to her began to overwhelm her in the dark and she shut her eyes against the shadows as they became cruel figures that she didn't want to let in. 

The vehicle slowed, coming to a stop and she heard the click and squeak of the driver's door followed by it slamming as footsteps approached around the back of the van. Her heart thumped at a million miles per hour and the door was wrenched open, the sudden daylight filling the wagon and blinding her.

She blinked against the harshness and as her eyes adjusted to the glare, she recognised with relief the side street of her apartment building silhouetting Lazzru's form. Seeing his impatient hand reaching in, motioning for her to come to the door, she hesitated, slowly approaching, his hurry doing nothing to ease her rattled nerves, even more so when she was within reach and he grabbed her arm in annoyance, unceremoniously pulling her from the wagon. 

Slamming the door closed, he took a last look at her as she steadied herself on the cobbled road before he walked around to the cab and opened the door. 

"Wait. Lazzru!" Millie said thickly, suddenly brave as she rushed after him, needing more information if she were to help Elishka. 

He stilled in his motions and turned to her while she kept her voice steady and talked over her nerves. 

"If we're going to be working together, we need to be friends, don't you think?" 

He arched an eyebrow and closed the van door. 

"Maybe you're right." Playing with a ring on his finger as he approached. "I can be your friend..." 

He looked into her eyes as he came closer and then suddenly lunged, shoving his hand through her open coat and beneath the hem of her dress, grabbing at her. Millie felt fear flood through her as she frantically fought his hands and bent forward trying to keep her pelvis from his reach. 

"No, no!" 

The words dropped from her mouth as she felt his fingers groping at her centre, her heart thumping ridiculously in her chest while she was forced backwards, her back hitting the van with a jolt, freezing her with terror, her hands against his chest in defence as he pressed his body against hers. 

"Or maybe I should come and find you at night, when you're asleep?" He offered dangerously, his calloused hands running around the fronts of her thighs. "And be friendly then..." 

A knot ached in Millie's throat and her stomach turned with nausea as his hands travelled to the backs of her legs and up over her rear, bringing the tight material of her dress up past her hip so that it was sitting around her waist beneath her coat, revealing the tops of her stockings and girdle.  
His fingernails dug into her hip through the fabric and he looked down at her underclothing with a smirk before he leant closer, easily overpowering the push of her hands on his chest between them as his breath landed hot on her ear, making her skin crawl. 

"Would you like that?" 

He pulled his head back to look at her questioningly and Millie simply took in his face so close to hers, petrified by the thought of him sneaking into her flat anytime without anyone knowing, completely unaware of his presence until his hands found her in the dark an-

"WOULD YOU LIKE THAT?!" 

He slammed his hand against the van beside her head as he yelled, making her flinch and shake her head desperately in response, her heart kicking as he pushed his pelvis against hers where she felt his semi-hardness pressing on her thigh and she turned her face from his, his closeness overwhelming.

"Oh, I think you would..." He jibed, removing his hand from the van to grab her jaw, turning her head back, forcing her to look at him as his other hand slipped between them and pulled up her girdle, ripping the clips from her stockings before cupping her groin. 

Millie slammed her eyes closed, whimpering as his fingers rubbed her folds through her underwear. She removed a hand from his chest to wrap around his wrist and tried to push it down and away, trying to halt his vile touches as he brought his lips so close to hers that she could taste his foul breath when he spoke.

"Perhaps you should just shut your stupid mouth and do as you're told!"

Pressing forward he planted his lips on hers and kissed her roughly, turning his hand to dig nails into the inside of her thigh and pull downwards, scratching her skin before fully pulling her girdle up over her behind to sit with the rumpled material of her dress around her waist.  
His hand travelled back down over her rear, grabbing at her, his fingernails digging into her flesh as his other hand released her jaw to fumble with the belt and zip on his trousers.

Millie felt her heart skitter and mouth go dry as his kiss crushed her into the van behind her and she tore her lips from his sickening mouth, pushing against his chest, trying to shove him off of her as she began to truly panic, words tumbling from her mouth in a mumbled mantra.

"No. No. No, no. No, no, no, n- _naghh!_ "

His hand moved so fast, she didn't see it coming, only knew she'd been slapped when her head was thrown to the side and a cry had escaped her at the impact. She felt the sharp sting on her cheek as she looked past the back of the van, down the empty street before feeling her cheek suddenly explode with pain as Lazzru followed the slap with a punch, her face slamming into the metal from the force of it.

"What did I say?! Shut your mouth!"

Tiny dots of light speckled over Millie's vision as a high pitched ringing sang in the depths of her ears and she felt the earth spin uncomfortably beneath her. She was brought to the present in a rush of horror as she felt her underwear being pulled down harshly, the material tearing completely from her right leg to hang loosely around her left knee. 

She only had a moment of clarity to realise what was about to happen, panic engulfing her as she pushed frantically at his wrists, trying desperately to keep them from her before he shoved them aside and pushed himself flush against her again, the shaft of his foulness pressing up at her entrance. 

His hand slid to her breast, palming at her feverish through her dress and she felt bile rise in her throat as it dropped between them to help with alignment before he pushed himself inside her, the movement sickening against her dryness as a husky cry of shock and pain rolled from her throat at the burn, drowning out his moan of satisfaction. 

He covered her mouth swiftly and she took a shuddering breath through flaring nostrils, struggling to breathe easily with the smell of his skin so close beneath her nose. Her stomach rolled and she lifted her hands once more to press at his chest as she felt his length slide out of her partially before he pushed up into her again, another groan huffing nauseatingly over her ear. 

Millie whimpered against his palm. What she was feeling was beyond uncomfortable, too far outside the realms of description. 

Lazzru's hips began to build in pace, the stretch of her flesh becoming a sharp sting around him and she realised she was too dry, too tense for his speed as she felt her skin beginning to fissure painfully either side of her entrance, the friction too aggressive and unlubricated.

She grunted against his palm and frantically moved her hands up to his jaw, pushing his face back until he shook his head free, the action earning her mouth freedom only due to Lazzru grabbing both her wrists and slamming them into the van either side of her head, his eyes flashing in arousal at the power dynamic while he continued to thrust into her with his revolting unrestricted grunts of pleasure. 

Millie knew that she wasn't going to be able to throw him off, so with her mouth now free, she took a chance and desperately screamed down the street. 

"HELP! H-"

Immediately she was silenced with a second punch to her already aching face, this time to the side of her mouth where she tasted blood instantly, the street dipping violently as her head swam and Lazzru wrapped the hand that he'd punched her with around her throat, bringing his face in next to his fingers at the crook of her neck as he inhaled her deeply. 

Millie tasted vomit on the back of her tongue where it bubbled in her oesophagus beneath his grip. The stretched, broken skin at her entrance seared and she moved the hand that wasn't being pinned by him to brace herself against the van, desperately trying to minimise the pain with each shift of her hips as he drove into her.

Struggling to breathe, she quickly abandoned trying to find purchase and brought her hand to scrabble urgently at the fingers crushing her neck. Her eyes pressing closed, tears squeezing from the sides of them to roll down her cheeks, feeling the overwhelming reality of what was happening flood through her.

She was completely powerless.

Helpless... 

Not enough oxygen was travelling past his fingers to reach her lungs and her blood was beginning to sting when there was a sudden moment where Millie processed the reality that within a few minutes she would be dead from strangulation... 

She was going to die. 

Her heart caught for all that she still had yet to do, to see, to experience, to say... She felt light-headed as pure panic vibrated harshly within her before an easy numbness crept over her and a blur seemed to settle over the world. 

It was oddly peaceful. 

The pain in her face and groin dulled to a background ache, the rhythmic grunts of Lazzru's pleasure faded into the distance, the lack of oxygen became inconsequential as her neck muscles relaxed, the tears dried in her eyes and the jack-hammering of her heart slowed back to a near regular pace as she became detached, like she was sitting outside of her body and watching it all from the pavement.  
She was still aware of what was happening to her, but it didn't seem to matter anymore as everything within her shut down and her hand slipped away from trying to break his grasp, fog rolling through her brain and leaving her simply a witness to her own ruin...

\---

She wasn't sure how long she was like that while Lazzru raped her, it could have been thirty minutes, it could have been only a few, but she was roused to partial awareness as she felt him shudder with a groan, ejaculating inside of her, his hips jerking against her and making her blurry vision bounce with his body's spasms. 

He sagged into her, catching his breath for a few moments before he pulled himself from her and she instantly crumpled to the gutter against the tire of the van. 

She felt oddly simple, a low rushing pervading her ears as she leant heavily on the tire, the smell of warm rubber filling her as she felt his release ooze from her vagina onto her thighs, the tiny indentations and discolourations within the cobble stones below her seeming to stand out so clearly, demanding her attention; every valley and shade within them so defined and sharp, so peculiarly captivating amidst the harshness of everything painful wanting to burst forth from inside of her. 

Her tunnel vision was interrupted by hands wrapping under her armpits and she was lifted from the gutter and dragged onto the narrow sidewalk where she was unceremoniously dumped against the wall.  
She felt droplets of wetness land on the skin of her face and chest, and recognised, belatedly, somewhere in the depths of her dissociation; that Lazzru had spat on her. 

The van roared to life in front of her and it rolled forwards, turning around the corner before leaving her awareness completely, the sounds of the engine fading from existence as she was left to the dull apathy of the side street, all of it unfocused and hazy, the rushing in her ears pulling her back into a vacant state of numbness within a privately overcast world.

\---


	2. Fallout

\---

"If she's not here, we're going straight to the police. Regardless of her little side business." Jean reiterated to the other women, steadying herself on her cane as they got out of the cab a little way down from Millie's flat.

"Agreed." Alice said firmly as they began to walk down the empty mainstreet. "It's been three days and there was such obvious signs of a struggle in her apartment. Her life is more important than a few indiscretions! The police will have to pay attention to her abduction now after so long, it's so ridiculous that they didn't in the first place!"

"Aye." Jean nodded, looking over her shoulder to confirm the lack of traffic as they neared a side street to cross, the area completely quiet save for them. "If not, we'll make them." She let out a sigh and mumbled under her breath. "I swear I'm going to chew the ear of that silly girl!" 

"I just want her to be okay..." Lucy muttered as she hurried to keep pace with the long, determined strides of the two older women, even with Jean's cane and limp. 

"Oh you know Millie, Dear." Jean offered as they began to cross the street, her tone softening in recognition for Lucy's genuine fear. "She's got nerves of steel. You know no one could rattle her cage for long without getting an earful..."

It wasn't until Jean was almost on the other side of the street when she realised that Lucy had dropped behind. Frowning, she stopped and turned to look back at the young woman, witnessing her frozen and staring down into the side street. 

"Lucy?" 

When Lucy simply continued to stare in shock, Jean turned to see what had stopped her and her heart fell through her stomach. 

Collapsed in a pile against the side of her building, not moving, was-

_"Millie!"_

Jean rushed down the side street, startling Alice into turning at her sudden shout and a gasp escaped the blonde in the second it took her to process what she was seeing before she sprinted after Jean, her movement snapping Lucy from her shock who ran behind.

As Jean got closer, she couldn't stop her brain cataloguing such a disturbing scene. A red mark around Millie's neck, her left cheek and lip split open, her skin swelling to the point that it puffed her eye almost closed with the darkening of bruising around it... One of her heels was laying in the gutter a few feet from where she was slumped against the bricks, her marone coat strewn beneath her and her dress rumpled up around her waist with her girdle bunched under it, the tops of her stockings ripped. Her right leg straight but her left leg splayed out beneath her, bent at the knee where her underwear lay low on her thigh, completely torn from her right leg and leaving her utterly exposed to the street.

"Millie!?!"

Jean dropped to the pavement beside her friend, completely aghast, dropping her cane aside to pull the corner of Millie's coat over her naked lap, but not without all three of the shocked women witnessing the trauma between her legs. 

Fingernail scratches ran down Millie's inner leg, the skin around her vagina broken and red raw with the initial stages of bruising blossoming on the insides of her thighs which shimmered, coated with crusted semen.

Alice slapped a hand over her mouth at the sight and she felt like she was about to throw up until she glanced at Lucy who was standing a few feet to her right, stock still. The blonde was jarred from her nausea by the frozen look of horror on the young woman's face and her heart kicked as she acknowledged Lucy's unique ability to be able to recall memories as if she were looking at photographs in albums. 

Alice swallowed and moved over to her, silently taking one of the young brunette's hands from ringing her bag handle and held it steadily in her own, squeezing softly and nodding her head in support with the gentlest smile she could muster as the action drew Lucy's lost gaze to her face.

When Millie didn't respond to their presence or Jean's touches in the slightest, her eyes staring dead ahead, empty, Lucy's focus was pulled back down. 

"Is she..." Her shaky voice abandoned her and a sob left her lips, unable to say the words...

"Millie?" Jean tried again, all of them feeling the possibility of Lucy's unfinished question like a crushing weight in their stomachs as they heard the shake in the ever-composed Scottish matron's voice. 

Jean nervously placed a hand on Millie's wrist, checking her pulse, her stillness terrifying. 

With a breath of overwhelming relief at the faint throb that she felt below her fingers, Jean allowed her head to drop briefly as her heart thumped ridiculously. "Oh thank god..." She turned to look gratefully up at the other two briefly before turning back to Millie and running her hand up her arm. "Millie, Dear?"

Millie's unswolen eyelid gave the tiniest flicker of recognition as Jean spoke again, but no more came from it as her eyes continued to stare into nothingness across the street. 

"Millie?" Jean squeezed her arm in comfort and attention, rubbing up and down slowly but firmly before repeating her name louder. 

"Millie?" 

Millie blinked, then after a moment, blinked again. Pulled to conciousness by Jean's touch, she looked down at the hand on her arm abstractedly, flinching slightly before her brow furrowed as if trying to decipher clues. 

"Millie, Dear?" 

Millie's eyes followed along Jean's arm up to her face where the confusion dropped from her features and was replaced with a dull look of surprise. 

"Oh, hello Jean, Love. How are you?" She husked quietly.

All of them knew shock when they saw it and Lucy immediately moved around to crouch on the other side of Millie, placing a hand warmly on her knee, Alice following her actions and dropping down next to Jean who was smiling sadly at Millie's empty civilities. 

"I'm fine Dear." Jean said carefully. "I'm more concerned with you at the minute..."

"Me?" Millie asked blankly as she looked at her friends, her brow creasing in dull confusion again. 

"Yes, m'dear. You've been missing for three days and -... Someone has clearly hurt you..." She brought her hand down the vacant woman's arm, taking her hand softly as she asked delicately. "Who did this to you?"

Millie looked down at herself briefly, her eyes widening before glazing over, memories playing behind them as her nervous system began to flinch in various places around her body. 

Jean looked at Alice and Lucy, so much passing between the eye contact she shared with them... Shock. Awareness. Fear. Hesitation. Loss. Sorrow. Helplessness. Frustration. Anger. Worry.

For the first time in a very, _VERY_ long time, Jean felt the exhausting urge to cry. 

Blinking back her threatening tears, she turned back to Millie. If ever there was a time that she needed to be her strongest, it was now. She ran her hand up the twitching woman's arm to try to draw her away from whatever was happening in her head and gave a soft smile. 

"It's okay dear. Don't worry about it now. Let's get you upstairs. Hmm?"

When Millie didn't respond, clearly too trapped in the answers of the last three days, Lucy reached forward to take her other hand from where it had been laying limply on the stones. Rubbing her thumb over the back of Millie's fingers until it drew her attention, she held eye contact with her beaten friend's undamaged eye. 

"Millie. You're safe now. We're here and we're not going to leave your side. We get that you're not completely with us at the moment and that's okay. But we just need to get you upstairs and we can take it from there. You don't have to worry about anything further, okay? We're going to look after you. We've got you now. You're safe."

Lucy's words seemed to break through Millie's memories because her eyebrows slowly pulled in with distress until it almost looked like she was frowning, acknowledgement dawning behind her brown eyes before she took a shuddering breath. Her lips twitched in a repression of so many emotions that clearly wanted to burst free as she searched Lucy's face, tears making her eyes shine before she swallowed and blinked them away, nodding her head jerkily and beginning to shift onto her side to push off the pavement.

All three women had not expected such immediate action after witnessing Millie thaw only a little and they all started in suprise. 

"Easy now Dear!" Jean worried as they all hurried to match her sudden movements and help her up. 

Lucy and Alice quickly stood to take her weight from beneath her arms and had managed to help her onto shaking legs when a husky cry of pain broke from the back of Millie's throat and her eyes slammed closed as she leant heavily on their support, doubled over with her nostrils flaring as she breathed thickly. 

Alice looked at the others, eyes wide, only to see her concern reflected in their faces and Lucy began rubbing Millie's back in soft circles, simply allowing her time, hoping that it was just a matter of waiting for the pain to pass.

After a few moments, Millie took a fuller breath and grunting from the further movement, she pulled on their support and slowly rose to full height on trembling legs.  
Her coat fell open as she straightened, exposing her again and Jean quickly bent to pull her girdle down from around her waist, Alice shifting to assist her with the tight material before they brought her dress down and allowed her some privacy. 

Millie swayed as her friends dressed her, registering dully at the back of her mind why they were doing so and causing nausea to suddenly roll within her. Urgently pulling from their hands to clutch at the bricks, she ducked her head and threw up against the wall, a high pitched ringing of white noise drowning out all other noise. 

Everything in that moment felt so raw and alive and yet so numb and surreal. She wanted to drop. To simply give up and stop putting energy into anything, to cease to exist but she couldn't as her stomach rolled again. 

Lucy gathered the translator's hair away from her face as her head dipped to heave a second time and Jean put a firm hand on her arm in comfort while Alice rubbed her back; all three displaying their support with such gentle touches while they shared their heartache through silent looks across Millie's pitching torso. 

Eventually she spat the last of the sick from her mouth and wiped at her lips with a shaky hand as the rushing in her ears eased and she started to fall completely numb again.

All of the women could feel Millie trembling weakly beneath their touch as she straightened and swayed, causing Alice and Lucy to immediately step either side of her again, this time wrapping their arms around her waist, holding her firmly. 

"We've got you." Lucy whispered again.

"Absolutely." Alice agreed with a gentle squeeze. 

Jean picked up her cane and retrieved Millie's heel from the gutter, kneeling to put it awkwardly back on her stockinged foot before standing with a nod and the three slowly began to walk her up the street. 

\---

Jean's tweed was helping to mask Millie from sight as they took it slow. Regardless of how desolate the streets were and that there was noone around, they all felt that it was unspokenly important to protect her in every way compassionately possible, and that included from potential gawking members of the public. 

Millie was shifting stiffly as they moved, her jaw clenched with occasional noises of pain escaping her. All three women felt it, with every step they felt her pain, and they channelled every thought of anger, every sorrow, every despair that came from their friend's state into their determination to defend her and keep her safe. 

So much so, that when they made it into the foyer, they all felt immense relief on her behalf to find that the temperamental elevator was missing it's usual 'out of order' sign.

They were quiet as they rode upwards, their spines dangerously straight, a silent stanchion for Millie aswell as for the far too frequent abuse their gender recieved.

Blessingly passing no one as they moved down the hall to Millie's apartment, Jean pulled her spare key from her bag and unlocked the door.

The apartment was still in chaos from the night that she'd been abducted but thankfully Millie was too out of it to form any distress about the state of her home as Jean moved to the couch and quickly cleared a space for Alice and Lucy to sit her down.

"I'll call the police." Alice said as soon as she was free, moving to the phone and lifting the receiver. 

"NO!" Millie suddenly husked in panic, coughing against the abrupt loudness of her cry as it passed her bruised windpipe and she held a shaky hand to her throat. "No police. Please..." She rasped softer, trying to look up at Alice but unable to meet her eyes so settled on looking down at her own jittering knees instead. 

"Millie..." Jean began slowly from above her. 

"No. Please. It's-... It's more complicated than just me..." The hang of Millie's body as she spoke was screaming exhaustion and overwhelm. 

"Millie, where did they take you?" Alice asked from across the room, reciever still in hand. " _Who_ took you?" 

"They-... I-... I just-..." Millie petered off, her eyes glazing over as they searched the floor in front of her kneecaps before she flinched and closed her eyes, shaking her head as she took a trembling breath and swallowed. "Please just let me wash and then I'll... I'll explain..."

She stood up from the couch and instantly took in a gasp, her hand flying to her lower abdomen as pain contorted through her features and her trembling legs faltered. She reached out for Lucy who gripped at her frantically, both grateful to Jean who immediately moved in to help hold her upright. 

"Okay. Easy now." The older woman calmed before exchanging a look with Lucy as they held Millie, both feeling the pain in her body from her tension and worrying that she'd injure herself further by moving too fast. 

Jean didn't like the idea of whoever did this not being held accountable, but more than anything she wanted Millie to begin to feel human again and if that meant washing before they made a decision about involving the police, then she sure as hell wasn't going to stand in the way of such a basic human right. In fact she'd aid it. So she spoke more firmly to Millie in hopes that at least she wouldn't argue about receiving help. 

"I'll help you wash, dear. But let's take it slow."

Millie hung her head in acquiescence, a few tears dropping from between her curtains of messed brown hair and Lucy nodded to Jean, sadness clutching at every fissure on her face as they both began to guide Millie around the detritus of her strewn about belongings. 

Jean looked over at Alice as they moved towards the bedroom and the blonde snapped from her wide eyed stare. Nodding to her ex-sergeant aswell, she slowly lowered the receiver back onto the cradle before letting out a breath and putting her hand on her forehead in disbelief, turning to look at the mess of Millie's apartment, all intention of putting it back to right but still a little in shock and completely at a loss for where to start... 

\---


	3. Aftercare

\---

"Okay..." Jean said supportively as she and Lucy walked Millie into the tiny bathroom that led off her bedroom, only letting the translator go once she was sure that Lucy had her and she wasn't going to crumple to the floor. 

The Scottish matron propped her cane beside the door and leant over the bath to put the plug in, turning the taps on and getting it flowing before turning back to the hanging brunette. 

"We're going to help you undress Dear."

Millie just nodded numbly seeming to have mentally checked out again so Jean moved behind her and gently slid the burgandy coat down her arms before folding it up and stepping away to lay the heavy material on the closed lid of the toilet. 

Lucy moved into Jean's empty spot and was bringing her hands up to the zip at the nape of Millie's neck with every intention of helping the brunette out of her dress when she noticed her hands shaking substantially. 

Jean turned back, witnessing Lucy's hesitation and immediately thought to how similarly wounded the young woman's face had looked to the way Millie's does when Harry had beaten her and she'd lain asleep in the same bed that now stood not four metres away in the other room... 

Seeing Lucy frozen, with her hands trembling atop Millie's dress, Jean quickly stepped in and carefully placed her own over the shaking young woman's, not wanting Lucy's nerves to affect Millie who was already disturbed enough right now, or even, for Millie's state to trigger Lucy... 

"I'll do this Dear." Jean said kindly. "Can you check on the bath water for me." 

Lucy looked up at Jean, a hundred sorrows held in her watery eyes before she nodded silently and ducked her head, pulling her hands from beneath her friend's and turning to the bath. 

Jean watched with sadness as Lucy turned away before she pulled the zipper the rest of the way down Millie's back and made short but gentle work of pushing the fabric over her shoulders and moving around to her front to carefully pull the dress down her body to her ankles. Jean made sure that her movements weren't aggressive or brutal as she undressed Millie, but also made sure to be quick enough to keep the brunette from slipping into distress. Doing the same with her girdle, she stood back up and took Millie's hand, placing it on the edge of the basin. 

"Hold on here while I get you out of your stockings Dear." Jean waited to make sure that Millie's shaking fingers were gripping tightly to the porcelain before she crouched again and gently pulled the ruined nylon down Millie's right leg. 

Moving to the left leg, Jean had to fight to keep her eyes down and even more so to keep her anger tempered as she brought the torn underwear down with her other stocking. Fury boiled in her blood as she was able to see too clearly the trauma between Millie's legs. She took a deep breath as quietly as she could before encouraging the translator to lift her left leg where she took off a heel and followed by pulling the stocking, underwear, girdle and dress down and off her foot. Repeating the action with the brunette's right foot, she then discarded the spoiled clothing in a pile against the wall and stood up before moving around to unclasp her bra, all the while Millie just stood, staring into nothingness. 

Lucy turned the taps off and turned back to the two women just as Jean pulled the last of the four-day-old clothes from Millie's form and her lips parted in shock at the variety of marks that littered Millie's now completely naked body. There were days old bruises around her elbows and knees from when she must have struggled with being taken, newer marks coming out on the bonier parts of her shoulder blades like her back had repeatedly been pushed against something solid, grip marks forming on her upper arms and hips... 

Jean's eyebrows pulled in sadly as she took in the marrings herself and her eyes flicked to Lucy's stricken face, noting the distress in her gaze. 

The older woman was aware that so many conversations needed to happen for them all to process this but she knew that Millie and Lucy would need them the most...

Understanding that it would all come in the days and months to come, she reminded herself that right now Millie was the priority, so she guided the vacant woman to the bathtub. 

Dipping her hand in the water and testing the warmth, she made sure that they wouldn't cause Millie's wounds any more pain than necessary with scolding water and, satisfied with the temperature, she rolled up her sleeves before fully supporting Millie by the arm. 

"Here you go now." She said gently as she encouraged the detached woman to step into the bath by lightly pressing on the back of her knee. 

Lucy stepped back to give Millie space as she lifted a shaking leg over the porcelain edge only for her stomach to lurch as her friend's beautiful features broke into a grimace at the stretch that such a movement caused her tender centre. Immediately snapping from her reveree for seeing Millie's pain, Lucy rushed forward to help support the rest of her weight as the trembling woman pushed off the tiled floor and brought her other leg over into the water with a teeter.

They turned her to face the length of the bath when Jean warned with an apologetic tone. 

"This might sting, dear." 

Bracing her hands on either side of the bath, Millie's arms shook as she was slowly guided down into the water. Sure enough, when her core touched the warmth, a husky cry shot from her mouth and her head shot up to face the ceiling, her eyes slamming shut and jaw clenching as she held her breath against the pain. 

Lucy looked to Jean worriedly as they continued to carefully lower Millie the rest of the way so that she was resting at the bottom of the bath, the water-level sitting around her waist.

The older woman perched herself on the edge of the tub as the younger dropped to kneel beside it. 

Nodding in brief acknowledgement for Lucy's concern, Jean took in the tension being held in every muscle of Millie's body, her knuckles turning white where they continued to grip at the bath edge... 

"Breathe, Millie. You're alright dear." Jean said softly and placed her hand on the back of Millie's, rubbing her thumb across her rigid fingers soothingly, her tone becoming stern from increasing worry when the translator continued to deny herself oxygen. 

"Camilla. _Breathe!_ " 

Millie stayed tense for a beat longer before taking a shuddering breath in through flaring nostrils. 

With the water wrapping her lower half in warmth, her nervous system began to relax and suddenly she was feeling so much more than a dull blur. Her face pulled inwards in devastation and a whimper escaped with her breath out as tears prickled at the sides of her closed eyes. She took another breath in that quickly turned into a sob as her chest began to heave with emotion and the tears finally hit thick and fast as everything that had happened, that was still happening, came crashing down around her. 

The two women next to her could only sit in heartache as Millie, usually so confident and heartstrong, completely broke down in the tub.

"... Oh my god..." She let out in horror as her eyes opened and she searched the ceiling desperately, memories playing behind her features while they contorted in anguish, tears sheding down her cheeks. The weight of it all became too much to bear and she brought her legs up to her chest, wincing with the movement but wrapping her arms around her knees anyway, rocking herself in the water as her torso shuddered with heavy sobs. 

"Oh my god... Oh... my god..." Her voice was deep and husky in its shock as she brought her forehead down to press into her right knee, burying her face there. "Oh my god..."

"Millie... You're okay now, Dear..." Jean offered gently, reaching to firmly squeeze the closest of Millie's elbows that was wrapped around her legs. "You're safe..." 

Jean's words seemed to collapse a wall within Millie that had been trying to protect her friends from the reality of what had happened to her and she pulled her face from her knees, resting her swollen and tear stained cheek against them as she met her older friend's eyes and suddenly she wanted Jean to know... To know all of it and to help her carry some of its vile weight. 

"Oh my god... Jean... He-..." Her eyebrows pulled in with anguish and she took a shuddering breath around her tears as she tried to vocalise all that was sitting within her. "He..."

Jean could see the distress and fear on Millie's beaten face and, not wanting to lose her again to shock, she rubbed her thumb over the translator's elbow.

"I know Dear... We know..."

Jean's acknowledgement was enough for the traumatised woman to grip at her ex-sergeant's hand as her sobs redoubled and she faced the tiles in front of her, losing herself in the porcelain. 

Alice's aching heart had been pulled through the apartment by Millie's cries, and upon reaching the doorjam and seeing her sobbing and hugging herself in the bath, she immediately stepped into the crowded bathroom and dropped beside Lucy who had quiet tears staining her cheeks. 

"Oh Millie..." 

Alice reached into the tub and gently placed her hand on Millie's arm where it was still gripping at her legs. She wanted so desperately to somehow take all of this away for her.

"I'm so sorry... I'm so, _SO_ bloody sorry... Whoever did this, we're going to find them, and trust me when I say that all three of us are going to make them answer so _VERY_ dearly for what they've done to you..."

Millie took a breath and turned to Alice where she looked blearily at her through her good eye, opening her mouth, her lips sat parted in grief as words evaded her. Closing her mouth and shaking her head at her inability to speak, tears of frustration, exhaustion and pain fell from her eyes and she leant across herself to place her hand on the tub rim, opening it as she turned it palm up. 

All three women didn't hesitate to put their hands in Millie's and she dropped her head, holding onto them so tightly while thick tears streamed from her eyes, her torso quivering with every dragged breath till Alice began to cry too and even Jean had to brush tears from her cheeks as all four women struggled under the heinous weight of Millie's violation.

After some time, Millie's sobs calmed and though her eyes still streamed, the anguish seemed to be replaced with shock again. 

"I never thought..." She began, shaking her head in overwhelm. "Oh god... I didn't think that-... I mean, you hear stories... Especially from the war. But I didn't think I'd ever-... I never thought that I-..."

"None of us ever really do dear..." Jean offered sadly, having understood Millie's fumbled words. 

"Which is right." Alice said wiping at her tears, anger edging her voice. "We should expect to be treated like human beings and not live in fear of being assaulted or abused! Of being touched up or whistled at, they're all just vile tongues of the same beast! Why should we have to carry such a disgusting culture of men unable to keep their hands and thoughts to themselves! Why should we walk around expecting to be raped or beaten like it's been coming to us?!" Her jaw was set resolutely as she glared at Millie, lost in her fury for a moment before she blinked and her eyes grew wide as she realised her words were so harshly inconsiderate in front of a friend who had just been found lying in the street; a victim of such cruelties. "Oh my god, Millie, I'm so sorry! I wasn't thinkin-..." 

"No, you're right Darling. I mean... You're correct in your thinking. I think..." Millie wiped at her cheeks with her free hand and looked down at her knees with a furrowed brow, feeling overwhelmed. "It's a little difficult to tell what's wrong and what's right at the minute..."

"It's okay Dear..." Jean warmed. 

"That'll pass." Lucy said softly and all of them turned to her, suddenly aware of how quiet she'd been. Her eyes were still streaming silently either side of her reddening nose as she swallowed with difficulty. "It'll take some time, but you'll process it all and you'll think like yourself again soon." She squeezed Millie's hand against the two others'. "There's no rush to be okay though Millie... Take all the time that you need, we'll be with you through every step of it. No matter how long it takes." 

Millie searched Lucy's eyes with her unswollen one and, seeing the experience in them, her breathing became heavy again with the emotional impact of her friend's words and her tears fell harder with the weight of knowing that the younger woman had also suffered from the violent actions of men. Millie squeezed her hand and simply allowed her grief to take her again as she let her head drop, crying for both of them. 

Soon, becoming too deluged with flashes of memory that were forcing themselves on her mind, Millie shook her head and looked around the bath edge, searching for her flannel, hoping to distract herself and move forward if even just a step in this unjust process. 

Alice picked up on Millie's intent and reached to the end of the tub near the doorway, picking up her wash cloth and offering it out to the brunette.

Millie met Alice's eyes with watery gratitude before squeezing her friends' hands and letting go to take the flannel and pull it below the surface. 

"Thank you... All of you." She said quietly as tears fell again and she blinked down at the water, taking a shuddering breath in. "... I don't know what would have happened if you hadn't seen me..."

The thought had occurred to all three women in the time since they had found Millie but they had each not enjoyed where their thoughts had taken them, so it was Jean who responded quickly and soothed such a statement. 

"Don't dwell on what might have happened Dear. It'll only hurt you further. The important thing is that we've got you now." 

Millie looked up at her sadly. 

"Thank you..." 

She lifted the flannel to the surface and let it float for a beat before bringing it to her face, the splashing water so loud in the silence of her small bathroom as she wiped delicately at her swollen eye and split lip with multiple winces, slowly washing away the last of her four day old makeup.

She lowered the cloth to the water again, washing it through before raising her chin and bringing it so very carefully to her neck, hissing and swallowing as the courseness of the flannel still proved too much for the tenderness of her strangulation marks. She closed her eye immediately, flinching at the memory of Lazzru's hand wrapping around her neck while he drove into her and the flannel slipped from her grasp with a splash, a band of fear tightening around her chest as she lost herself in the memory. 

"Millie..?" Lucy asked nervously, all three stiffening as they witnessed her stillness. 

When she didn't respond, Lucy tried again. 

"Hey it's okay... You're with us now, you're safe..."

Lucy reached forward to softly place a hand on Millie's where it was hovering, locked in a claw near her bruised throat. 

"Millie?"

Millie's reaction was enough to make all three of them jump as she flinched violently, slapping Lucy's hand away with a sharp cry. 

" _Nagh!_ " 

Her body shivered and her face twisted from repulsion to shock as she swallowed down her disgust and blinked around in confusion, horror for having hit Lucy quickly flooding in as tears welled in her eyes. 

"Lucy! Oh my god! I'm so sorry... He hit me and then he was stranglin-... It-... I thought-..." A shuddering sob entered Millie's lungs as her tears fell and her shoulder muscles twitched. Seeing the horror on her friends' faces caused a light of warning to suddenly turn on in her brain as she realised that talking about it might be distressing for Lucy to hear with her history of domestic violence. "Oh god, Lucy... I'm so sorry for bringing such awful things up! I wasn't thinking!"

"Oh Millie, don't. You have absolutely nothing to be sorry fo-" 

"No, I am sorry... I know that- that Harry was-" 

"Hey shhh now." Lucy said, reaching into the bathtub and gripping Millie's hands tightly to cease her friend's self admonishment aswell as to emphasise her own words. "Don't worry about me, I'm fine. I promise. I want you to share whatever you need to share, okay?"

Millie took in the sincerity in Lucy's face and attempted a smile of gratitude for the kindness of her friends, fresh tears falling as she looked down at the water. 

"I thought- I thought I was going to die..." She whispered in shock. "He-... Lazzru... It all just changed so fast. One minute we were talking and then he was on me... Grabbing me. I thou-..." 

Millie stilled mid sentence as she noticed the surface layer of dirt and other substances that had floated from her body in the time she had been sitting in the bath. She processed the cloudy sheen on some areas of the water's surface and shame rushed through her as she realised her friends would have surely recognised the pearly white for what it was.  
She felt her stomach roll with nausea and pulled her hands from Lucy's, bringing the back of one to her nose as she fought the urge to throw up.

"Ogh!"

There was too much of this experience that was grotesque and unfair... 

Forcing herself to reach into the bath, she pulled the plug and grabbed the flannel, closing her eyes as she focused on breathing through her fingers while washing blindly at the inside of her thighs and vagina, tears leaking from beneath her lids as she tried desperately to keep herself from retching at the pain and touch of her panicked scrubbing as the vile water slowly emptied down the drain.

All three women baulked at Millie's frantic actions and it was Jean that reached into the tub to urgently touch her arm. 

"Easy now... Millie, easy... Millie?! Stop!" 

Jean gripped harder at the translator's wrist and drew her gaze as she firmly pulled her scrubbing arm away, worried for the damage she would do to herself in such a state. 

"It's okay, you're okay Dear... You're clean."

Millie's features crumbled as she acknowledged the weight of Jean's words with what she'd just done in front of her friends... Shame hit her like a freight train, her fingers releasing the flannel like it had shocked her and she turned her hand to grip desperately to Jean's arm instead, new tears flooding heavily from her eyes as she lifted her head towards the ceiling and closed them, trembling with emotion. 

"Millie..." Lucy said softly, heart aching for the brunette's reaction, seeing the shame sitting on her shoulders as she gently placed her hand there, prepared for the flinch and stroking it calm with her thumb. "It's okay... Everything you're feeling is okay. It's so normal and so warranted. Any shame you feel is not yours to carry, it's been forced upon you by someone else's actions. He's the one that should feel this shame for violating your body, your boundaries, your basic human rights... Please don't feel like we are judging you in any way for any of this. You are so strong and you did nothing that would ever make what has happened your fault, okay?"

Millie's heart pound against her chest for the holding within Lucy's words but she couldn't respond, could only sob and fight to control her nausea as she kept her chin facing upwards while struggling to stop herself from thinking about Lazzru's seed slowly filtering through the plughole. 

All three women watched Millie's fight to regain composure... They were all a little at a loss for how to help her through this and silence followed for several seconds until Jean suddenly spoke, her voice soft, yet with a seriousness edging it that made Alice and Lucy look to her attentively.

"Millie, I need to ask you... And I'm sorry for my bluntness, but when did you last bleed?" 

There was a beat before Millie's eyes slammed open, her tears halting instantly as her features dropped from sorrowful grief into shocked panic, her mouth falling open as she looked to Jean, her eyes searching in horror before it all came out in a rush. 

"Oh my god! I didn't even think! How could I have not thought ab-" 

"It's alright Dear!" Jean calmed as Millie's breathing began to grow erratic. "There's a lot happening for you right now. And there's no need to panic. Just try to think..."

Millie took a shuddering breath and tried to swallow, her eyes searching desperately through the space beside Jean. 

"... I was when-... When we went to Lucy's for tea last. I finished two days after. That was-... That was thirteen days ago..."

Millie was highly intelligent, a die hard feminist and fiercely empowered... Jean knew that the translator was read up on the most recent publications of fertility awareness to have done the math herself...

"Jean..." Her voice cracked in the tense silence. 

"It's alrig-" 

"It's not! I can't be pregnant-... Not from this... Not from him! Plea-"

"It's okay Dear." Jean cut off her mounting panic, knowing that Millie's mind was already hurting her enough without fear of the future or what further awful things she might have to face. "You're on the very end of your ovulation. Studies are showing that your chances are slimmer. We'll d-" 

The squeal of the water finally sucking away rang through the tiny bathroom and cut Jean off. Millie flinched and closed her eyes through the high-pitched peel until it passed, the others not taking their eyes off of the shivering woman for the empathetic fear running through their veins for what might come of all of this... 

"Camilla, I promise you..." Jean offered as earnestly as she could with all the emotion rattling around inside of her. "We will help you through this. You're not alone. Whatever happens..." She regripped her hand and closed her other over the top and squeezed. "If it gets to that point..." She glanced at Lucy and Alice hesitantly, not entirely certain of their beliefs, before taking a trusting breath and looking back at Millie. "I know the right people to help. They'll keep it quiet. You'll be safe from the law. And they'll treat you with respect... Whatever you choose, we'll handle it. We just want you to be okay. That's priority. Alright? Whatever you choose... "

Millie could barely comprehend what had happened to her a few hours ago let alone allow herself to feel the cruel complexities of potentially having to have an illegal, backstreet abortion... 

This was exactly why they marched. 

So that no woman would have to face a scenario like this... 

Tears built in her eyes and she blinked up at the ceiling in overwhelm.

After a few moments she found herself numb again. Her breathing had calmed and her tears dried on her cheeks while she shivered in the cold, only able to feel herself twitching sporadically from nervous overload until Alice's voice filtered through her awareness. 

"-get you into bed...?" 

Millie wearily brought her head down and tried to focus her puffy eyes on the blonde. 

"Oh Millie..." Jean let out quietly, all of them able to see that she was drifting and empty and absolutely exhausted. "Let's get you up out of that tub Dear."

Millie nodded numbly and began to shift when she stilled with a grimace and a sharp suck of breath, the broken skin around her entrance burning with her movement and she swallowed audibly as the sting of it brought her too jarringly back to the present reality.

"I- I might need some help..." She husked out, tears beginning to well again with her current ineptness. 

"Hey..." Lucy said softly, rubbing her thumb soothingly over Millie's shoulder again. 

All three women had seen Millie's injuries upon finding her in the alley, they knew she would be in such a heavily complicated and contextually loaded pain.

"That's exactly what we're here for." 

Lucy stood and moved around Jean before carefully stepping into the empty bath to crouch in front of Millie and delicately placed her hands on the shivering woman's arms in support. "One step at a time, okay?"

Millie looked up at her and took a tumbling breath through fresher tears of gratitude before nodding shallowly. 

Lucy nodded back and offered a smile that she hoped carried all the love and respect she felt as she gently lifted Millie's arm over her shoulders in the awkwardly cramped space before sliding a hand around her shivering waist and pulling her up with the aid of Alice and Jean from outside the tub. 

A tiny pule escaped Millie's lips on the way up and every one of them felt it in their chests' as they slowly brought her to standing where she swayed worryingly in Lucy's arms. 

Lucy waited until Millie had stilled and then lifted her foot and placed it on the floor outside the bath, steadying herself as the bent between inside and outside before encouraging the translator to use her as support so she could step out herself. 

Alice quickly took Millie's other arm and held firmly as she moved, all three witnessing the pain on her features and hearing a second muffled whimper as she lifted her leg up over the rim, their hearts aching with how drained she looked and for how shaky her limbs had become. 

"Easy does it." Alice offered soothingly.

Millie brought her back foot down to join the other on the bathroom floor when a wave of light-headedness washed through her, her legs dropping almost all energy and she gripped desperately to Alice and Lucy. 

"Gently now Dear." Jean worried as she flashed in from grabbing a towel to support Millie's other arm while Lucy climbed out of the tub. 

Millie's face had paled white and she brought a shaky hand up to cover her mouth, her torso hunching as her other hand dropped to splay over her pubic bone. 

"Millie?" Alice worried. 

The translator fought down nausea as her inner walls throbbed and the muscles surrounding sent aches up the lower half of her spine. Closing her eyes and trying to take a steadying breath through her nose, she realised she was not okay and whispered in a nervous husk. 

"I don't feel so grand..."

"Do you need to sit?" Jean asked quickly. 

Millie immediately nodded and began to drop herself, Jean looking urgently to Alice for help in taking her weight as they lowered her to the bath edge, none of them missing the twist of pain in her features when her sit-bones met porcelain. 

Lucy briskly took the towel from Jean's arm and wrapped it around Millie's slender form in the warmest and most loving hug she could give, sitting down next to her and holding it closed, all the while feeling the translator trembling with both cold and trauma beneath the cotton. 

Millie leant forward with her eyes closed, new tears slipping from beneath her lids at the feeling of being held so lovingly by Lucy. She wanted to drop into the feeling and just give up... Just temporarily... Just long enough for her wounds to heal and for her energy to replenish, to make it all just that much easier...  
But... She could feel that some of her injuries needed to be treated before she could allow herself the blissful nihility of sleep so she took a shaky breath in and tried to clear her head. 

"... I'm alright my Loves." She offered with another bolstering breath in, giving Lucy a grateful squeeze and taking hold of the towel against herself before wiping at her eyes while the young woman eased away. 

Jean had lowered herself to crouch in front of them, resting her hand gently on Millie's knee as she let out a scoff with a tutt before giving a wry smile.

"We all know that that's the biggest pile of shite that's ever left your mouth..." 

Millie smirked back, chuckling slightly and thankful for the lightness of it before her chest fell empty with the intense truth of it. Tears started to pull at her eyes again for how much her emotions were flipping so hecticly all over the place. It was such an exhausting thing, to feel herself moving between sorrow to anger, fear to grief, pain to numbness, and back again... All from the act of having Lazzru pin her and force his way inside of her...

They all saw her body fall and her features drop into depression.

"You don't have to be okay, Millie..." Alice said as she dropped beside Jean. "You don't have to be strong all the time. You're allowed to be a mess from this..." She lifted her hand to rub up and down her towel-wrapped arm.

Millie met Alice's eyes and bit her lip in a sorrowful smile. 

"I don't really know how to be..." She confessed quietly, so much still roiling around in her mind and heart.

"You don't have to be anything." Alice assured softly, fortifying Lucy's sentiments from earlier before giving a compassionate smile. "... Just be safe... Here. With us."

New tears flood forth from Millie as her face pulled inwards and she took in a sob. 

"I just want to stop!" She let out loudly, her throat gravely with grief as she dropped her head and brought her hand up to bury her forehead in her palm. "I don't want to have to deal with any of this. I can still feel him pushi-..." She cut herself off with a gasping breath. "It's bloody rubbish. It's just rubbish. I don't want it! ..." 

"Millie, you should never have had to deal with it at all! I'm so bloody beyond sorry that you're having to..." Alice insisted, angry tears filling her eyes with the conviction of her words. "You shouldn't have ever had to... You're right, it is rubbish, absolute trash. If we could take it away for you, we would... In a heartbeat..."

Millie looked up from her palm, tears streaming down her face and she placed her hand over Alice's where it still rest against her arm, squeezing gratefully with an attempted smile before her features crumbled again and she closed her eyes as fresh tears forced themselves free.

She looked utterly exhausted. 

"Let's get you laying down, Dear." Jean encouraged, a clear strain of emotion in her tone. "It'll all seem a little easier when you don't have to carry yourself anymore..."

Millie caught her breath and tried to sniff clear her distress before looking at Jean anxiously. 

"I need to-..." Her eyes dropped to her knees and she swallowed around the emotion rising in her chest. "I-... I can feel that I'm-... That my skin is... broken. I just need a minute to tend to it." 

There was a second of silence where every one of them felt the painful truth in Millie's words before Jean gently squeezed her hand. 

"We'll help you w-"

"No." Millie cut her off a little too forcefully before swallowing and continuing. "I mean, no thank you... I can do it, I just need a minute and I'll be right out..." She bit her lip as her tears continued to flow and she hung her head, not able to look at her friends for shame. "Please..."

"Don't be silly Dear, there's no need for y-" 

"Why don't you two prepare her bed?" Lucy directed at Alice and Jean, picking up on Millie's need and cutting off the older woman. "I can dry Millie off and get her dressed." 

Alice nodded instantly, wiping the tears from her eyes and squeezing her hand against Millie's before sliding it free and standing up, only wanting to help her friend through this as easily as possible. 

"I'll get your nightgown." She said quickly before slipping from the room. 

Jean looked up at Millie, concern smothering her features, obviously frightened that she wouldn't be able to stand on her own, that she might fall, that she might hurt herself, that she might try again to scrub herself more raw than she already was...

"It's okay Jean..." Lucy said firmly, drawing her worried gaze. "I'll make sure Millie's alright. We'll take it really slow. Let's just give her a little bit of privacy after so much already." 

Millie shakily reached for Lucy's hand and squeezed it in gratitude before looking up at Jean.

Jean pulled her lips to the side as her eyebrows gathered in sorrowful understanding and she nodded brusquely, squeezing Millie's knee again before standing up just as Alice arrived with the folded gown and put it on the edge of the bathtub. The blonde smiled warmly at Millie, though her eyes still held a serious tone. 

"We'll be right out here."

Millie nodded awkwardly. 

"If you need anything..." Jean offered as she took her cane from beside the door. "Call out." 

"Thank you." Millie whispered, her gratitude for far more than just the space.

"Of course Dear." 

Jean left the door ajar with a final understanding smile and Millie took a shuddering breath in. 

"Thank you..." She turned to Lucy and gave a tight smile, dropping her eyes as she squeezed her hand. 

"Like Jean said: Of course." Lucy squeezed her hand back. "Easy as breathing..."

Millie let out a heavy sigh and glanced over at the cabinet before taking what felt like the hundredth bracing breath. 

"Can you help me to the sink?" 

"Only if you promise me that if you feel faint, you let me know and we lower you to the ground on the spot, okay?"

Millie looked up at Lucy and seeing the seriousness in her blue eyes, she nodded in honesty. 

"We'll take it easy, alright?" 

Millie nodded again.

Lucy stood as Millie tucked the corner of her towel into itself at her front before taking the offered arm, pulling up at the same time that she pushed off the bath edge with her other. 

She grunted as the movement caused pains to shoot through her skin, muscles and bones...

She was so tired. 

Nausea pulled through her again and she realised with a blank stare across the bathroom that she had barely eaten in days. She knew she'd heal quicker if she ate but the thought of food only made her stomach turn more...  
She wanted to lay down so badly, to stop having to try... It was becoming harder to push such thoughts away as she tried to focus on just getting through this last task before she could allow herself to rest, so taking a deep breath to feel a little clearer, she nodded and began to walk. 

Moving gently, the two slowly made their way to the basin where Lucy urgently reached forward to open the cabinet door, quick to face the mirror to the wall before Millie was able to catch her reflection, her heart aching as she remembered how overwhelmed she'd felt herself when she had looked in the mirror after Harry's fists had changed the shape of her face... Taking in the marring and swellings had felt like a shame all of its own: A marking for the world to see and judge... 

Millie was thankfully oblivious to it all as she leant against the basin and shakily retrieved a bottle of iodine from the shelves within. Unscrewing the lid and taking a flannel from the cabinet to hold to the bottle opening before tipping them together, she soaked the material over her fingertips. 

It was when she placed the bottle back on the shelf next to its lid and untucked the towel from her front with a hesitating glance to the younger brunette as she chewed on her lip that Lucy read what was needed. 

"I'll get your gown." She offered softly. "If you think you can stand on your own?" 

Millie nodded, fresh tears appearing in her eyes out of gratitude again for Lucy's ability to so easily understand her in her current state. 

As Lucy moved away, Millie let the towel drop to the floor and gripped tightly to the edge of the basin before looking down and bowing her legs, her hand shaking as she brought the flannel towards her pelvis only to close her eyes and take a shivering breath, her mind betraying her with the ringing knowledge that this was going to sting worse than the act that had caused the damage...

Lucy turned from retrieving the gown and felt her heart crack in half at the sight of Millie frozen. Crossing the space, she placed her fingers delicately on Millie's shoulder, rounding her as she spoke gently. 

"Millie... Let me... Please?" 

Millie flinched at Lucy's contact before straightening and opening her eyes to look up into blue. She searched them for the longest time, trying to understand such an intimate offer before taking a shuddering breath at the prospect of allowing such a thing as she answered honestly, tears rolling from the corners of her eyes. 

"Oh Lucy, you don't want to. Not with your abilities... You'd be left with the images for the rest of your life."

She was truly abhorred by the thought of creating such a privately traumatic memory for Lucy. 

"Hey..." The young woman countered softly as she placed the nightgown on the back of the basin. "What I want is to be here for you. You don't have to do this alone..." 

"... Thank you Darling. ...But I don't know what damage-... I can't see. I can feel-... I'm sure that my skin is broken..." Her words became too heavy, too real and she swallowed around the sudden dryness in her mouth. "Lucy, whatever I look like... you'd never forget it..."

Lucy's hand was still resting on Millie's shoulder as she gently placed her other over the older woman's trembling fingers where they were still clutching the cloth mid-air. 

"I've already seen... When you were in the gutt- When you were on the street outside. You were exposed..." Her eyes glazed over as she explained, her brows dipping in distress. "I already have the memory of your injuries..." She swallowed audibly and shook her head the tiniest of fractions to clear her mind before sliding her hand under Millie's, taking the cloth from her and looking up into dark eyes. "The bath water will have cleaned away a lot. It'll be better now than it was then. Please let me do this for you..."

Millie shivered and brought a hand up to hold the young brunette's cheek, searching her blue depths for answers to so many questions and anxieties that were racing through her mind. Seeing only love in the sparkling orbs, Millie nodded her head slightly in acquiescence and dropped her hand.

She knew it would be easier for Lucy to do this on the bed but as she looked at the ajar door to her bedroom, she could see Jean and Alice busy giving her clean sheets to sleep on and the last thing she wanted was more people to witness such an intimate thing, her apartment feeling too small for her friends to not witness it even from out there... 

It was beginning to become too hard to make decisions again and her brain was fogging over when Lucy moved to the bathroom door and softly closed it, instantly clearing the worry that was building in Millie's chest

Returning to stand in front of the translator, she placed her hand on Millie's arm and looked her kindly in the eye with a squeeze of her fingers and a gentle smile before sinking to her knees. 

Millie inhaled shakily as she looked down her naked torso to the brunette below her and slowly nodded again past her tears.

Smiling warmly and folding the cloth around her hand, Lucy placed her other delicately on Millie's inner thigh, gently pushing so that the she would widen her stance. 

Millie complied and bowed her legs and Lucy tried to keep her breathing steady for her friend's sake as she was able to see clearer the damage that had been partially obscured by semen and blood out on the street. Millie had been right, tiny fissures of stretched skin were cracked and raw as they led away from her opening, the area looking tender and painful and slightly inflamed. Lucy had to swallow and bolster herself to bring the iodine soaked section of flannel to the area. 

A husky cry immediately filled the bathroom and Millie's hips jerked away from the cloth, the sting overwhelming on her broken skin as she reached for the basin with both hands and took a gasping breath as she swore through the pain. 

"Jesus Christ..." 

Lucy had prepared herself for a reaction but had still instantly pulled back and looked up in worry. "I'm so sorry! Are you okay?" 

Millie nodded her head brusquely, tears flooding faster from her eyes as she planted her feet again and turned her hips, gripping the porcelain and lifting her head to the ceiling with her eyes slammed shut. 

"Please, just do it." She choked as the tears continued to escape from beneath her eyelids. 

Lucy's chest ached for the torment Millie was suffering and she had to steel herself before bringing her free hand to Millie's hip and holding tight, careful to avoid what looked heart-rendingly like a thumb-grip bruise that was blossoming there as she took a deep breath. 

"Okay... Here we go." 

She brought the cloth back to Millie's skin, waiting for Millie's second jerk to still before wiping tenderly at the raw breaks in her skin, hyper aware of the translator gritting her teeth against the burn, her hips twitching and thigh muscles tensing. 

"You're doing so well Millie. Only a little more..."

Millie bit down on a whimper, her legs trembling violently as Lucy made sure the iodine reached the very beginning of the cracks at her entrance before wiping so carefully at the scratch marks on her inner thigh and finally pulling the flannel away. 

"There. Done." 

Lucy stood up and placed the cloth in the basin while Millie took a staggering breath and bent forwards in a lean over the porcelain, cantering her hips backwards as she dropped her head and hissed through the afterburn. 

Tears were still escaping from her scrunched up eyes, when there Lucy suddenly was, pulling her up into the warmest and most holding hug. 

"You're amazing. You know that right?" Lucy whispered as she hugged her. 

Millie could only let her body sag into her friend's arms, the loving contact too warm and safe for her fragile heart to take as her tears doubled their path from her eyes. She wanted to hang there for eternity, for Lucy to somehow take all of her weight and carry her to the comfort of her bed and continue holding her like she was a precious piece of art until she blissfully slipped into unconciousness... 

But Lucy could feel Millie shivering against the cold and suddenly she was pulling away. 

"Let's get you dressed and warm and resting before we even think about seeing to your other injuries, yeah?" 

Millie felt the loss of Lucy's hug like they were separating to distant lands and it was the last time she'd see her. She knew her emotions were all over the place, but that didn't stop her from having to strangle down sobs of grief that were wanting to escape up through her chest. Her world began to fall dark as the struggle made it difficult to breathe when there Lucy was again, lifting the nightgown above her and instructing Millie to reach her arms through before bringing it down over her head, over her torso and hips and letting it drop to her knees. 

"Come on, let's get you into bed."

She squeezed Millie's arm warmly and retrieved the iodine from the shelf, screwing the lid on to take with them to the bedroom before closing the cabinet door and picking up the flannel when Millie suddenly stiffened beside her with an intake of breath. 

Lucy looked up in immediate worry to see tears dancing in the translator's eyes as she stared in shock at her reflection in the tiny cabinet mirror and the young woman froze, sucking in her own breath as she realised her mistake. 

"Mill-..." 

"Oh my god..." 

It escaped in a wet whisper as Millie kept one shaky hand on the basin edge and lifted the other to wincingly touch her swollen and split lip before moving her fingers to hover beside her swollen eye, desperately searching for recognition of self amongst the damage.

Lucy's heart dropped. 

Tears tipped silently over Millie's bottom lids as she leant in and raised her chin to take in the purpling blemishes around her throat, turning her head to the right to find four deeper marks where the pads of Lazzru's fingers had pressed into the left side of her neck...

She closed her eyes and dropped her hand to grip the basin next to her other as she bowed her head and took a shuddering breath.

Lucy wanted to open the cabinet door and hide the mirror again, she wanted to rip it from its hinges and toss it out the window so Millie couldn't take a second look... But she knew from experience that Millie needed to feel all that she was feeling about seeing herself beaten...  
Even with that knowledge, it still didn't stop Lucy's heart from wringing almost unbearably for how painful all of this was for Millie. 

There was silence for several beats as the usually so confident translator's tears dropped achingly into the sink. 

"Fuck him..." She finally whispered into her chest before taking a gasping breath. 

Whispering it again, she let out a husky laugh of incredulity and sniffed angrily as she looked up into her own eyes in the mirror, a terrifying fury burning behind them. 

"Fuck him." Her voice was like gravel as her knuckles turned white with the ferocity of her hatred. 

"Fuck him!" Her voice getting louder, tears still rolling down her face. "FUCK HIM!" She screamed at her reflection. "WHO THE FUCK DOES HE THINK HE IS?!" She slammed her palm against the mirror. "FUCK HIM! FU-Ah!?"

Millie's open hand had closed into a fist mid-yell and collided with the mirror a second time, glass spraying into the basin as it smashed over her hand. 

Lucy grabbed hold of her wrist far too late, bringing it down and away from the mirror as she wrapped her other arm around the sobbing woman to hold her steady while she trembled and shook.

"Fuck him..." 

"You're oka-..." 

"What happened?!"

Alice had burst into the room and Lucy pulled from the hug in time to see Jean following a step behind, the Scott immediately rushing to Millie's side and grabbing her arm as soon as she saw the blood running down her wrist. 

"It's fine." Millie began, her breath catching amidst her tears. "I just- I couldn't-..." 

"Okay, it's okay." Jean calmed as she quickly glanced over the cuts to the translator's skin, falling easily into management mode again as she motioned to Alice to get the towel at Millie's feet. "Pass us that."

Alice instantly picked it up and gave it to the ex-sergeant before wrapping her arm supportively around Millie's back as the brunette swayed dangerously. Looking between Millie's slowly vacating eyes and the mirror, both Alice and Jean put two and two together after hearing the translator's angry words right before the smash. 

Lucy held Millie's injured limb out for Jean as the ex-seargant wrapped the towel around Millie's forearm to catch the blood that was running down her wrist before looking over the damage once more. 

"Alright, this doesn't look too bad... Do you have tweezers Dear?" 

Millie nodded numbly and began to reach for the cabinet with her free hand when Lucy put the wrist that was still holding the iodine and flannel on top of her arm to stop her. 

"It's okay, let me." 

Waiting for Jean to pull Millie back a few steps, Lucy carefully placed the bottle and cloth on the back of the mirror-littered basin before opening the cabinet, wincing and stepping back herself as a few of the remaining pieces fell out of the frame into the basin with another clatter and crash, her heart aching as Millie flinched behind her. 

Lucy found the tweezers and passed them to Jean before taking Millie's arm again and holding it still so Jean could slowly begin picking out some of the tiny pieces of glass that had embedded themselves in the translator's skin and drop them into the sink. 

"I'm fine..." Millie spoke emptily, her tears now dry on her cheeks as she looked abstractly at the work Jean was carrying out, barely reacting to the painful digging of the tweezer teeth on the glass as they pushed against her firing nerves. 

"That you are Dear..." Jean soothed absently, inspecting two worryingly larger pieces of glass, both about the size of shillings. She turned her attention to Lucy. "Do you know if she keeps any bandages around?" 

Lucy nodded and looked to Alice to hold Millie's arm again before moving quickly from the room. 

Jean made sure to get the rest of the smaller pieces out before focusing on the big bits that she knew were likely to bleed more and require faster dressing, glancing up gratefully when Lucy returned with a medkit and pulled out a bandage. 

"Okay, these are likely to sting Dear..." 

Jean turned militantly to Lucy. 

"Can you be ready with the iodine when I've finished?"

Lucy nodded and passed the bandage to Alice to hold while she retrieved the bottle and soaked the flannel before holding it at the ready. 

"Okay, here we go..." 

Alice held Millie's arm still as Jean gently pulled the piece that was closer to Millie's wrist out of her hand and dropped it in the sink with a small 'chink'. Blood balled forth and ran down her wrist into the towel just as Jean turned back and clasped the final piece that was sitting between Millie's fore and middle knuckles. Carefully pulling it out, all of them except Millie taking a suck of air in as it slid about two centimetres out before the sharp tip of it finally pulled free from her skin. 

Lucy was quick to cover the site with the cloth and clamp down hard, expecting Millie to react, to let out a cry or try to move away from the cauterising sting of the iodine... but there was not a single response and Lucy looked up worriedly to see emotionless tears welling in the translator's glazed over eyes...

Jean had dropped the glass in the sink and quickly reached between the two to put the tweezers back on the shelf before taking the bandage from Alice, Lucy wiping carefully over all the cuts, blotting again at the larger ones where blood had continued to spring forth before moving clear so Jean could lay the end of the bandage over the back of Millie's hand and gently wrap it up. 

Looking up at Millie when she was done, Jean's eyebrows dipped in concern and a horrible ache pulled at her gut. 

Tears were sliding down Millie's face as she stared emptily at Lucy's right shoulder, her drooping eyelids flickering slightly. She was shivering and her body was slumping into Alice atop sagging legs while a clammy sheen of sweat had developed over her chest and face. 

"Millie?" Jean asked, worry too uncharacteristically clear in her tone as she placed her hand on the translator's upper arm and squeezed, getting no response. "Millie..." 

Jean looked seriously to Alice and Lucy. "Alright, let's get her laying down."

Lucy nodded and moved around Alice to the other side of Millie, putting an arm around the shivering brunette and looking worryingly at her as they began to move. 

Millie's face had paled significantly and her legs were moving sluggishly, no longer taking her full weight as a grimace struck through her detached features each time her legs parted. 

Lucy and Alice's heart wrung to have lost Millie yet again to overwhelm as Jean led ahead and they gingerly made their way out of the bathroom. 

Moving forward to pull back the quilt and top sheet, Jean propped the pillows up as they walked Millie to the bed and slowly sat her on the edge of it before gently laying her back and covering her up only for her to immediately turn away from them and curl up on her side. 

Lucy, Alice and Jean all looked at each other with pain in their chests, their eyes holding sorrow and support for what they knew each of them were feeling, this shared, overwhelming sense of enervation and debility. 

There was so much that needed to be discussed and actioned. Time felt like it was slipping through their fingers, but Millie was in no state to talk about what had happened and how to find the people responsible. More than anything they were just worried for how absent the usually so present and firey woman was... Time imperatives be dammed, they did the one thing that they could do for Millie... Be there. 

Alice fetched two chairs from the kitchen for her and Jean while Lucy climbed onto the bed and lay facing Millie atop the covers, placing her hands close enough for the translator to hold if she needed. 

Such a scene was far too familiar for Lucy and Jean as the light was just beginning to fade from the day outside and they knew the night would be a long one for all of them, however determined they were to see it out... Or help in any way they could. 

As the matress shifted with Lucy settling down, Millie lay there, feeling so many things, so many emotions and yet none at all. All that she was felt surreal and detached. Her slowly shutting-down mind wouldn't truly let her believe the last four days had happened let alone the last few hours. She didn't know if all that had transpired had been real... She figured that it likely had been for the somatic feeling of her centre and face throbbing, and her fissure and scratching skin burning, but such a large part of her wondered agonisingly if she was still laying slumped against the bricks outside... And that all of the holding and ease and love she'd just recieved was just some elaborate hallucination to keep her mind safe... Tears pooled at the back of her lids at the thought of Lucy and Jean and Alice not being there. 

She tried to tell herself that even if she couldn't see them with her eyes closed, she knew they were there. And even if they weren't really there in the room with her, or in her apartment, or out on the pavement with her, or in the city, or, hell, even in the same country... Even if she had never met them at Bletchley Park... The one thing that she clung to as she finally slipped into the welcoming arms of unconsciousness... the one certainty she had; was knowing that women like them existed. That loving, compassionate, patient, understanding, supportive women like them were out there... 

That the sisterhood was out there... 

And that... That was enough.

\---


End file.
